Gone

He still has some things here, though. Forgot his robe and left his tv, dvd player, and vhs for Caleb and me. Some other things too. Took the bed because I told him I didn't want it since he bought it for us. I want to think positive, but I don't think he'll be coming back. Yesterday when he left I told him I loved him, and he didn't say anything. But he still kissed me on the lips. Closed mouthed of course. Maybe he thought it was the least he could do since he hasn't wanted to touch me in months.

Started taking anti-depressants yesterday. Generic Celexa--Citalopram. Haven't cried at all today. Yet. Might have a good one when I go to a coworker's house tomorrow. She knows about the situation and promised not to gossip about it.

I do feel closer to normal than I have in a while. Granted, I am still sad, but I feel like I'm going normal speed, I can smile when Caleb jokes around with me, I can cook and clean. If I can keep myself occupied and not think about the situation so much, I will be all right. Naturally, I want to see/talk to Nathan, but it's probably best to leave him alone. I'll see him on Monday at work, which will probably turn me all goofy inside again. It's too early to expect that the Celexa has had any affect on me yet, but like I said, I'm feeling closer to normal today. Maybe because I'm coming to accept what has happened.

Don't know if I'll have an appetite again today. Maybe after I go for a walk, although, I kind of like that I've lost so much weight--8 pounds in a week! Depression. It's the new diet plan.

Didn't sleep much last night. It was very cold on the air mattress even though the heater was on. I guess because the air inside the mattress is cold. And I don't have a thick blanket. The flannel sheets are a joke.

Looked like shit all day yesterday.