What a difference a day makes. Or half a day. I don't know why exactly; maybe I'm over the worst part of my pms/pmdd and finally about to bleed. Normally I hate that time, but since it means getting over the emotional roller coaster, I'm sooo happy to feel bloated and heavy. Hallelujah!!
I read over my post from this morning, and was surprised at how tame it was considering how I really felt last night. If I had written it at the height of my disgust, the whole thing would have been filled with "fuck this" and "fuck that" and probably would have cursed out every single person I've ever known as well as those who might have the unfortunate pleasure to one day meet me on the street. Perhaps I should have gone ahead and written it last night since it would have made for a more interesting/amusing read. But I think I've learned my lesson about writing when I'm too emotionally charged. I used to have a journal that I strictly wrote in when I was mad and having my episodes. I had to throw it away once it was filled because I would never want my son to come upon it and read the horrible things I wrote in it. He would have a totally different picture of me after going through it, and I think I've given him enough bad shit to contemplate in this lifetime.
I don't want to dwell on that. I feel good. And today I didn't look so bad in the mirror.
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